Closer Than Close

Growing up, I had this picture perfect image of how married life would be. I’d have a beautiful wife, nice crib, expensive car, fat bank account, career success, etc. Based on the 5 things listed, I’m only shooting 20% from the field (that’s 1 out of 5 for you math majors). Now the next logical question is; what exactly is that one thing that I’ve been able to achieve so far? Well…considering the fact that I’d like to be alive long enough to write at least one more article, I’m pretty lucky because Rachel’s the finest thing walking on God’s green earth.

Now at 26, I guess I can’t be mad at the fact that I’m not swimming in dough, that I haven’t purchased my first crib, or even that I’m not the CEO of a multi-billion dollar corporation (I’m not tripping – the global takeover is still in full effect). Nope! I’m not sweatin’ any of that. However, if you told me that I’d spend my first year of marriage (working on our 2^nd year now) in a dorm with 300 plus undergraduate students, I’d say you had a better chance of shooting yourself in the face, driving yourself to the hospital, removing the bullet yourself, and making a full recovery. Long story short, don’t squeeze that trigger. The number one mistake I made was relying on my plan, not God’s plan. We often get so caught up on “having it our way”, that we get pissed off when things don’t go “according to plan”. Burger King didn’t create man (they just created that weird ass King with the scary smile), nor did they create the concept of marriage (God just happened to have a hand in that too). Given the fact that we aren’t in control, we should focus more on the blessings of whatever situation we’re in, regardless of how difficult or stressful it may be at the time. “To live is to suffer, but to survive, well, that's to find meaning in the suffering”. I’m sure DMX wasn’t the first to say it, but ever since he did I’ve never forgotten it.

Now that all the deep stuff is out of the way, let’s layout what the misses and me are really working with. It’s mental picture time! Now for those of you familiar with the One-Eyed Monster, you’ve already been introduced to our kitchen. For those that haven’t had the privilege, allow me to make a formal introduction (this won’t take long). The kitchen is, and has always been, a hot plate and his trusty sidekick, the toaster oven. Our countertop, cabinets, pantry, etc. is a made from none other than a twin-sized bed. Our dishwasher uses the latest technology to get all the grit and grime off any pot or pan. Most commonly referred to as the bathroom sink, a rag, and God’s own creation (our hands), we guarantee 100% satisfaction. Thirsty? Hungry? No problem! Just take a peek into either of our luxury refrigerators about the size of a three-year-old child and grab what you like (Ballin!). Is it morning already? Time to get dressed and get the day started? No problem! Just ask Rachel to slide to the other side of the bed so you don’t step on her pretty lil head as you climb over the bed to jump in the closet and pick out a fly outfit.

With all that said, I’m sure you’re all dying to trade places with me and the wife. We’ve all fantasized about living like kings and queens, but only the elite actually have the luxury of doing so. But seriously, WTF! The adjustment was extremely hard, especially coming from a one-bedroom apartment with a real kitchen, bedroom, living room, etc. What I learned very early though was that there was no point in complaining. It is what it is. After I got over feeling sorry for myself and my new wife, that’s when I started to realize how much of a blessing this whole situation was. When Rachel and I argue, we can’t storm out of the room and go to the basement, living room, etc. to get away. Best we can do is hang out in the bathroom if we feel like slamming doors, but there’s not a whole lot going down in the bathroom outside of the obvious. Point is, no matter how mad we get at each other, we can’t get away from one another without dealing with the outside world, and we don’t take our business to the streets. Bottom line – We’re forced to work though whatever issues or situations we face, TOGETHER.

Now don’t get it twisted, I could have stayed in consulting, and we could have bought a house. Rachel could have still been working in radio, and we could be moving toward a different dream. But instead, Rachel wanted to go to law school, and I wanted to get my MBA. In the midst of me bitchin’ and moanin’, I forgot to mention that we live in that dorm for FREE, and both our degrees cost next to nothing when it’s all said and done. Yes, a JD and an MBA for the price of staying in a dorm for two years. We’ll take it. It hasn’t been the most ideal situation, but when we’re ready to make our next move, we’ll have two graduate degrees, and a helluva lot of money saved up to begin putting the master plan into full effect.

I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t change a thing, but I’m glad that’s not an option. I thank God that he blessed me with a woman who I not only love, but like as well. I truly enjoy her company and spending time with her. I respect what she brings to the table and how well we work together. We’re both hustlers and down to do whatever it takes to reach our goals (even if it means we gotta bust on a fool). Through this experience we’ve learned a lot about both our relationship and ourselves. It’s not ideal, but it has done more for our relationship than either one of us could have imagined. From now on, I think I’ll go with God’s plan over my own any day.