One day I was checking out this commercial with Rachel, looking at one of those dolls that pee in a diaper. My first reaction, “Who in the hell would want to have a doll that does some nasty shit like that?!” The most obvious answer is, of course, little girls do. Just like little girls want pissy dolls, they want to play crazy games like house, ask for Barbie dolls so they can make Barbie kiss Ken, and live in one of those Barbie dream houses. Quite frankly, most girls can’t wait for the moment where they can put on high heels and wear makeup so they can be grown like mommy.
As little boys, one of the first “toys” we played with was our penis (it wasn’t just me, don’t front).
Moving on, we played with G.I. Joes, remote control cars, video games, etc. Always in the mix were sports, which tied directly into competition. Point being, ever since we were young, males had one agenda, and females had another. While for the most part, females were preparing for womanhood and marriage with their Easy Bake Ovens; we were playing games, literally. Sure, I cut the grass, did yard work and helped my dad around the crib with handy work that needed to be done, but I was “late” in terms of my preparation for a meaningful relationship or marriage (let me tell it I was a man at 15).
Not that I blame rap, movies, the people I grew up around, or those that raised me, but they did have an affect on how I approached and viewed women. Yes, I was always respectful, but I thought the name of the game was to get as many women as possible before settling down. Just like with sports, the object of the game was to win, and that meant getting with as many chicks as possible. Nobody ever told me at an early age to find a nice young lady, settle down and start a family (nobody ever told me to be a whore either). It was only by the grace of God that I was able to acquire just enough sense to not screw things up with Rachel early in the game, and even then I almost came up on the losing end because of my immature ways. Women, on the other hand, knew what they wanted fresh out of the gate (speaking in generalities – loose chicks excluded).
What’s my point? Blame your pimpish behavior on everyone and everything else?? Hell NO!! Point is, somewhere along the way, either sooner or later, you learned better. There’s no badge of honor for sleeping with the most chicks, or having a squad of females on your team. Looks cool for a while, but it gets old real fast. Funny how we all like playing the game until we get caught, then all of a sudden we want to act right because we might lose “the one”. Funny how we envy those in “good” relationships, but we won’t go out and get one of our own. Funny how we all want a strong black woman until she turns the muscle against us, then all of a sudden “the bitch done lost her mind,” as if your retarded ass didn’t contribute to the drama in the first place. You’re only fooling yourself if you think that’s the case. “We don’t believe you, you need more people.”
As men, we could follow Pac and take the easy way out. “It ain’t my fault. Don’t blame me, blame my mama, a nigga’s nature.” But actually, my mom was the reason I calmed down some of my “niggerish” tendencies. If it weren’t for people like my mama in my life to give it to me straight, I wouldn’t be married, and I most certainly wouldn’t be this far along in life. No, as boys we didn’t grow up fantasizing about a wife and kids, but that doesn’t exclude us from stepping up and handling business as men. Be the man God meant for you to be. Play your part.
“When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.” – 1 Corinthians 13:11
