Now usually I don’t do this, so we’ll see how it goes. I’m a talker, not a writer, so Lord help me….
“I know she just think I think she’s some kind of hoe…I don’t give a sh$! about her giving it up on the first night….that just let’s me know, she know what she want outta life”. You can’t blame it on Andre 3000, and you for damn sure can’t blame it on the alcohol. Blame it on whoever made you think he’d hang around if you gave it up on the first, second, or third night. The last thing a real man wants is a female that anybody can get. In my opinion, one of the sexiest, most exciting parts of the relationship is the chase. There’s nothing like the late night conversations that last hours, wondering if she’s gonna hit you back, hoping you’ll get the invite back to the crib after a night out, imagining what kind of lingerie she has on, how she gets down when the time is right ;)…I could go on and on. But let’s be real…females run the full spectrum, from giving it up to the first brotha that shows interest, to not giving a brotha the time of day unless he possesses ALL 50 characteristics on the “Superman” check list.
I guess I’ll share my initial experiences with Rachel to provide some perspective. I was so into Rachel because she turned me on, both mentally and physically. She kept me at a distance, but not so far that I felt like I didn’t have a shot. Unlike many of the other females I talked to, Rachel wouldn’t even give me her number when I first talked to her. At one point, she even had the audacity to tell me, “You’re not important enough to get my cell phone number and waste my minutes, but I’ll give you my room number.” Now I’m lookin at this 5 foot, 2 3/4 inch light-skinned little woman telling me what she was and wasn’t gonna do, and I was feeling it. That look in her eyes when she gave me the room number let me know that the chase was on!!
First of all, this was one of the baddest chicks that ever came across my path freshman year. There was no question about the physical attraction (at least on my part). Now I may have been a skinny, tall, weird lookin dude, but I got one helluva mouth piece, and she had one to match ya boy. She wasn’t on the market when I met her, but she was so on point that I was satisfied with whatever she was willing to give (which was just conversation). I found myself calling her (on her room phone…wack) leaving corny messages. As Rachel and Kyana put it (because of course she let her friends listen) “Uh Rachel uh...this is Julius…uh…I guess you’re not in your room…uh…call me when you…uh…get home.” She must have been feeling me enough because she always called me back the same day. Anyway, our conversations would last for hours. What stood out about Rachel wasn’t that she respected herself (which she did), but more so that she knew her self worth. She knew she wasn’t just any ole chick. She knew she was top notch, and that if I was trying to get on the team then I had to come correct.
Fellas:
If you’re going to spend your time, money and energy getting after a woman, PLEASE make sure she’s worth it. There’s nothing wrong with setting standards. There’s everything wrong with chasing any ole thing because you wanted a new chick on the team, especially if you trying to get on your grown man. We are getting to a point where we need to be thinking about who we can take home to mama. And if you’re still at that phase in your life where you need to have sex with multiple women, I’m not talking to you anyway. I’m talking to fellas that want the mental orgasm just as bad as the physical. If you just focus on the physical, it’ll be 6 months before you realize she’s dumb as a brick and now you’ve wasted time chasing a woman who’s not worth chasing. And now what? Now you have to start all over with a new woman versus ending the relationship off the break when you realized she brick dumb. Stop being lazy. Any woman worth having is worth working for.
Ladies:
Are you chaseable? Seriously. It’s cute to be independent and all…we actually like it (men like to get treated too!). But are you so independent that you scare men away? Real men respect women in the corporate world doing their thing. But be clear, the corporate attitude can be a major turn off. Also, there’s a difference between being sexy and seductive, and being a straight-up slut. Understand, you need to draw men in. The trap is the physical, but we also need that killer conversation. Women will forever and a day be harassed by guys, period. So get over it. If you weren’t getting harassed, you’d be stressed out at night trying to figure out why the hell men didn’t find you attractive. Switch up the scene if you’re not coming across the right men. My beautiful black women are truly queens, and should be treated as such. But in order for us to do that, we need you to know how to treat yourself first.
The Bottom Line: The chase is it! Stop being lazy. I mean even, Barack had to play Michelle’s brother in hoops before she would even go on a date with him. Now what would have happened if he had given up on the chase?
Mr. Slim
