Getting back on the grind is bitter sweet. I’m ready to be done with school, but I don’t want any part of the work associated with it. I’ve only got one semester left, so I can’t really trip. Can’t stay on vacation forever.
Over the break, I was on top of the world. No work. No school. No nothing. Just me and the wife, doing what we do best; kickin’ it. Ever since Rachel and I have been together, we’ve always loved to travel. Difference was, in the past it was just the two of us. This time around, the in-laws were in the mix. Now before I get into how the trip went, a little background is necessary.
Mama bear was cool from the jump, as I’m sure most males can relate to, married or not. Moms don’t seem to go much further beyond the fact that their daughters are happy, and that the man (or men for those pimpin’) in their life is respectful and seems to do right by their daughter. Papa bears, on the other hand, are a little trickier. You get some that give you the cold shoulder, others with methods of intimidation, but if you’re lucky, you get the guy who welcomes you with open arms, knowing that you’re the right man for his little princess. Let’s just say that the first time the Reverend/Judge Cooper laid eyes on me, it wasn’t love at first sight (more like, “And who in the f&%k is this goofy lookin’ ni&&a?!”). And being both a Reverend and a Judge (where they do that at?), I couldn’t be certain that the law or the Lord would be on my side. This was the definition of being up shits creek without a paddle or a prayer.
So needless to say, Pops and I didn’t exactly hit it off from the jump. When we first met, I had flown to Pittsburgh to stay at his house so Rachel and I could spend some time together. Guess you can’t blame a father for not wanting some horny teenager staying in his home, waiting for the opportunity to pounce on his baby girl. But this dude was still more than I expected. So much so, that I literally didn’t know how to address this dude. SERIOUSLY. Intimidation is a beast. In the 6 years that I had known him leading up to the wedding, I’ve used his “name” to address him MAYBE 10 times. And when I say name, it was either, “Mr. Cooper, Judge Cooper, Reverend Cooper, Reverend Judge Mr. Kevin Cooper Sir” or some variation. But most times, I called him NOTHING. Be clear. I’m not what you would call, socially awkward. But with this guy, I couldn’t be sure how to act or speak. So what did I do?! I’d wait until we made eye contact, or he called my name, or whatever. Straight up. And Rachel didn’t help either. I’d ask her what I should call her father, and what was her retarded response, “Why don’t you ask him?” Now if I thought it was that damn easy, don’t you think I would have asked the man?! Some friend you are.
In looking back, what Rachel and I came to understand is that the relationships we’ve developed with each other’s family members stems more from our own individual relationships with our respective family members than how our families viewed each other’s counterparts. Now if you just read that last sentence and understood what the hell I just said, more power to you, cuz I sure as hell just confused myself! Let’s try it this way. Rachel and her father had a rocky relationship when I met her (a heads up would’ve been nice), so even though I didn’t necessarily do anything “wrong” when I met her father, I was guilty by association (I’m sure my niggerish tendencies didn’t help either).
Now I’m sure some of you are thinking that Papa Bear was just playing the protective role, and that’s partly true, but their pre-existing issues definitely hindered our bonding process. I’m also convinced that this guy has a touch of crazy in him. Dude has this crazy look about him sometimes, where his eyes get buck and he gets this crazy ass smirk on his face, on some Chucky from Child’s Play type madness (man I hope he never reads this).
Nevertheless, as Rachel and her father’s relationship got better over the years, he and I grew closer as well. We talked more, spent more time together, and learned a lot more about each other, which ultimately increased our respect for each other.
There’s drama in every family, so when you stand at that alter and take those vows, be prepared for more than just the person standing across from you. For better or worse includes family, so it’s best to work your problems out, versus sweeping them under the rug. It may have taken several years for Papa Bear to warm up to ya boy, but it’s all good now. Like Kanye said, “Slow motion is better than no motion”.
And yea, the cruise was amazing! It was more than I could have ever expected. There was zero drama. I chilled and joked with Mama Bear, while Papa Bear and I sipped Hennessey, smoked cigars, and shot the breeze like we’d been tight for the past 8 years.
Question is, since we’ve been married, what do I call Papa Bear now??? A year and a half later, I’m still trying to figure it out…..here we go again!
