Last night was a HUGE night for one Young, Black, and Married couple. Well at least ½ of the union is young (sorry Jigga Man). At the MTV VMAs, the normally very hush hush Beyoncé Knowles Carter announced that she was pregnant. On the “black” carpet she very subtly noted that she had a surprise and then pulled her very loose-fitting dress back to reveal a baby bump. With this announcement social networking sites went ablaze. The opinions ranged from elation to hateration (terrible word, I know, but it rhymes).
While most were happy for them, the announcement did start a debate that was likely to leave some hurt feelings. Soon tweets and statuses started flowing regarding their ability to do it the “right way.” In today’s society the “right way” has been skewed, but it sounded like people were referring to the traditional way to start a family: A courtship, followed by marriage, followed by kids. Obviously this pattern of doing things has lost its luster in recent years, but is it wrong to celebrate it?
I have A LOT of respect for single mothers who made the difficult decision to have a child regardless of circumstance. Truth be told and quiet as kept, just because you don’t see a baby hanging on the hip doesn’t mean there wasn’t one to speak of in a married couple’s past. But I digress.
The truth is, regardless of whether we want to admit it or not, when we were young we sang…“First comes love…then comes marriage…then comes {insert name here} with a baby carriage.” It’s not new, and for most I’m sure it was the plan, but things change and adjustments are made. It just so happens that for the Carters, at least from what we’ve seen, they followed this childhood limerick.
At the beginning of last week a lot of people were saddened by the news that Will & Jada might be divorcing. While that news was sad indeed, it brought up the intricacies of their relationship. Is it open? Are they happy? Etc. At the end of the day, I have yet to find a person who knows either of these couples personally, but black love is beautiful and should be celebrated.
Be clear, I am a BEYONCÉ GROUPIE!! So you would think her child would be calling me Auntie Rachel. But I believe I was happier for their ministry than I was their baby news. At the end of the day, marriage is a ministry and anytime that union is looked on with admiration and positivity, that’s a “SCORE ONE” for the married couples. Not everyone is as lucky as me to have real life examples of strong marriages. I have only been exposed to ONE divorce in my family. My grandparents have been together for 58 years, my parents have been together for 33 years, and all but one of my 7 aunts and uncles have been married for decades. Have all of these marriages been perfect…NO, but their resilience shows the importance of sticking it out in marriage.
Do we know Jay and Bey personally? No. But without them really saying a word, we’ve watched their relationship play out in front of the cameras. I’m happy for them, and hope that their ministry continues to blossom and give hope to those out there looking for a love to believe in.
Beyoncé
performed my favorite song from the "4" album "Love on Top"
which was truly fitting. At the end of the video you will see the love in Jay's
eyes. You can't help but be happy for the two.
