If Your Girl Only Knew...

“She would probably leave you alone, she would probably cuss you out and unplug her phone…” So the late great Aaliyah was talking about cheating, but I’m talking about something a lot more common. If your girl is unrealistic and insecure, there is a 100% chance that this very controversial topic causes an argument in your household on a daily basis. I am talking about the infamous ‘other’ women. Yes PLURAL…WOMEN. This isn’t a typo, but a statement of fact. If your man is straight (and if he’s not, you’ve got a whole host of other issues you need to deal with), you have to deal with this madness on a daily basis. It’s how you handle it that separates the girls from the women. So picture this….

A few postings ago, Julius told you that we went to the club the other week for a friends’ birthday. While in the club, a chick walks past with her boobs all out! I mean she might as well have come to the club wearing pasties. Now, I saw the boobs (and I’m a straight female), therefore, I KNOW Julius saw the boobs!! I mean Stevie Wonder could see the boobies. The question is, what happened next? Well, allow me to explain…I turned around and asked Julius, “Did you see the JUGS on that one?!” His response, “You know I saw them damn things!” Afterwards, we proceeded to talk about how ridiculous she looked. Did I get mad at Julius for peeking at the goodies…No ma’am. Why, because he’s a man, and I’m no fool. It’d be ridiculous of me to expect Julius to go blind every time a big ass, huge boobs, or a beautiful woman walks past. The difference between a gentleman, (which Julius is) and a jerk, is that Julius takes a passing glance and doesn’t GAWK. I’ve actually never caught Julius (in EIGHT long years) looking at another woman. Now that’s a slick partna (or a smooth criminal) for you. He respects me enough to handle his business discretely, and I’m woman enough to know that it’s going to happen. But let’s talk about the double standard for just a moment!

A few weeks ago I went to Julius’ flag football game. His team was in all black, and the other team initially looked like scrubs in sweatpants, looking extra raggedy. Well come to find out, that was just their practice gear. Once the game began, these young stunnas disrobed and revealed the bodies of Roman Gods. I mean straight spandex with muscles bulging everywhere. As I sat in the stands with other wives, I said WAIT A MINUTE… A girl said, imma tell Julius…I said tell him…and while you’re at it, tell him to get in the gym if he’s jealous. After the game, Julius and I had a conversation about it. More importantly, I didn’t hide from Julius the fact that I noticed. More to the point, Julius didn’t give a damn. Why? Because he’s secure in his manhood, and the last time I checked, looking ain’t cheating.

So there you have it, Julius looks at women, and I look at men, and we’re both happily married. Now what?! Don’t be the girl that has an attitude because your man looks at another woman. He is a man; of course he’s going to. If your man respects you, there will never be a situation where you feel disrespected because of his actions. And be honest, you wanted to go see Takers just because of all the eye candy in the movie, not because you’re an action junkie who loves gangsta movies. The same way you sneak a peak at a good looking brotha who has it going on, don’t look at his observations as slights against you, because they’re not. At the end of the day, home is where is heart is, and Julius comes home with me every night.

But be clear, if I happen to catch Julius doing ANYTHING other than looking at another female, there will be consequences and repercussions. Jay-Z said it best in La, La, La (Excuse Me Again), “Look but don't touch, muthaf&^%a think twice cuz this gat that I clutch gotta little red light. Need a light?”