Our Little Secret

One of the worst mistakes people make in relationships is telling random (and not so random) people their business. Growing up I’ve always heard, “your business is your business, and it’s not for the whole world to know.” My elders also told me that, “you never let another person know how great your mate is, because they’ll want them too”. Now, I won’t go as far as to agree entirely with the second statement (I am watching you bitches), but I am a strong believer in keeping your relationship private. The arguments, the good times, the fun times, and the intimate times are yours and yours alone. Now don’t misunderstand me. Clearly, Julius and I are writing a blog based on our personal experiences. I simply mean that to the extent that some people share their relationships, messages can be taken out of context or misinterpreted. For example….

Julius and I have a mutual friend who has told us all the bad things that are wrong with his girl. The stuff that’s wrong with her personality, her family, how she frustrates him, etc. Yet, they’re supposed to be getting married?! At this point, Julius and I can’t help but wonder, especially with divorce rates so high, why you would want to stay with this girl, let alone marry her. To let this guy tell it, she’s got to be one of the worst females ever. Now this can’t be the case (or maybe it is), or else why would he still want to marry her? Also, because YOU are our personal friend, we already have preconceived notions about her. So what’s to be expected when we finally meet her? Anyone with good sense knows the deal – we don’t like her (based solely on your comments, and your comments alone), and we question your judgment.

The same goes for the other side of the coin. I can’t stand the couples (usually females) that get on Facebook professing their love for their boyfriend/girlfriend in every status update of every day of every hour. One, nobody believes you’re that happy. Two, how dumb do you look when y’all break-up. Again, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t post sweet messages about your significant other, but keep it real. No one wants to hear about how “the heavens parted, birds chirped, and angels sang as we made passionate love on the beach.” If that did happen, which I highly doubt, then keep that between the two of you. All we (the public) need to know is that you had a great weekend with your man. High-five for you, and we can all keep it pushing.

Julius and I have been together for close to 8 years. My closest friends (my mama too, but that’s another article for another time) can count on one hand (collectively) the times that I have called them complaining about Julius. NONE of our friends know ANYTHING about our sex life, or any other personal areas of our relationship. And lastly, people know how much Julius loves me, not because I had to tell everyone in order for them to believe me, but because it is obvious how happy (and in love) I am through my actions. No words needed.

XScape said a long time ago, “you're my little secret, and that's how we should keep it.

It's on everybody's mind, about you and I, they think so, but they don't really know.” Even though they were talking about cheating, the same rules apply. Keep the love you share with your mate to yourself. In the long run, people will respect your relationship for what it is, not what you say.